Age Of Turmoil

[Music] the early teens our year physical and glandular change new and wider relationships with people and new inner feelings in the early adolescent parents of almost every child find the age of puberty or early adolescence full of problems the knowledge that these difficulties are normal and usually only temporary helps to turn family friction into more constructive channels let's watch some of these youngsters as they spend Friday afternoon and evening we'll see what some of the common troubles are Sally Joan and Kay are typical teenagers each has her own personality but they're all normal their actions may seem excessive but that's normal for teenagers for instance that giggling the unconstructive criticism of school personally I think Mr Al's classes are just a waste of time if he can't teach any better than then I can't be bothered studying why you know this morning we spent 20 minutes before we even opened the book or read anything the criticism of families last week my brother spent all his allowance on candy in one day I think it's awful the way mother lets him waste money of course she lets him do anything he wants the unrealistic ideas of their own future well I decided I'd like to be a ballet dancer i' get started in New York and I Tour all over the country I'd sure hate to SP the rest of my life in this old do yes if you don't make an effort to understand them teenage girls may seem silly and opinionated and the boys best pitcher in the National League he is nice ah yes he is he can't they want to prove their own importance by making themselves heard that combination of new lung power changed voices and Boundless Energy is hard on the neighbors give them all L they seem to spend hours in completely useless activity they quarrel a lot but the gang sticks together there are no girls in it they are passionately interested in sports and hero worship from afar is common a car and home as good as the other boys have are important the gang is impressed by material possessions this bolsters Tom's self-esteem to boast about Dad's popularity or achievement is very satisfying said okay know dad got a bonus because he sold more in the last two months than any other salesman in the district next year the Adolescent is self-centered Bill's response to every situation is concerned with how it affects him my old man's got an order in the' Neil's motors for a new convertible we're going to get the first one that comes in what kind of car are you getting I think it's a sh Sam doesn't talk much he feels safer saying nothing at least then he can't say the wrong thing this is a common method of self- protection at home away from the group there are other aspects of adolescent behavior that are annoying to parents there's the untidiness the Eternal hunger picking at whatever is around to eat it's certainly annoying to mother who has plans for what is to be eaten and when but the Universal appearance of these adolescent traits leads to the conclusion that they are normal and based on real needs Kay is quite mature for her age she's well adjusted accepting her defects and trying to make the most of her assets she's tremendously influenced by fashion advertisements and gets many ideas and grooming from magazines television and movies to wear her hair and clothes according to the latest style is much more important than to wear them in the most becoming way she's not mature enough yet to rely on her own judgment the world knows best and she wants to be sure of her place in the world mother may have other opinions of what looks best but of course mother has old-fashioned ideas Kay's mother is always a little overwhelmed by the extremes to which her suddenly grown-up daughter carries her ideas of style if it's the style to be careless and informal her sloppiness is so deliberate as to be offensive but mother has leared that these things are usually temporary the less said about them the more quickly they wear off objection often brings friction without any change half an hour after she has left her friends she's on the phone to them again hello is journy there it seems unnecessary but there's a real need for talking to others in the same stage for constant reassurance of her standing as friend and equal hello Joanie look I've got an idea why don't we go down to Johnson's after supper maybe some of the gang will be there and we can cook up something GK I'm awful sorry I can't go I have to stay home tonight well why don't you ask Sally maybe she can go okay I'm off sorry Joan is not as independent as Kay is perhaps because she hasn't been encouraged to stand on her own feet there is no friction in Joan's Family Life her mother mother finds her a very good girl not headstrong and flighty like so many of her friends seem to be she takes her schoolwork seriously perhaps too seriously she has high standards for herself and if she falls below them her insecurity and worry are increased Joan seems to be coming quietly through these difficult years but the stress and strain are there and result in an almost complete withdrawal from people she does a lot of daydreaming imagining herself as the extrovert that she is not not she goes over and over little events in her life reliving her successes and suffering through her failures all over again Joan doesn't have emotional outbursts her safety valve is her diary here she is herself letting off emotional Steam and clarifying her thoughts about growing up and Sally's home life her mother doesn't intend to relax her discipline now just When Sally needs it most oh hello K just a minute K mother can I even answer the phone without you listening in Sally I don't want you going out tonight you've been out far too much lately all right kay I'll go I suppose mother will make a fuss but I'll be there Sally wants Independence and this knocking out of the parental prop leaves her no support but the opinion of her friends she must maintain her position with them at any cost oh don't let's ask her she thinks she's so smart personally I can't see what she has to be stuck up about except a lot of expensive clothes anybody look good with all that money in her need for Assurance Sally tries to avoid girls who are more attractive or have more money or clothes than she has she wants to have friends on her own level did she oh that just shows how stupid she is the long conversations irritate Sally's mother she doesn't see them as part of her daughter's adjustment to other people and to herself for Sally is thinking out loud as she talks now let's see how the boys get along at home remember Sam didn't talk much with the crowd he was more of a listener at home he is more sure of himself his dog provides a great source of comfort and security whatever Sam does is all right with him he's always willing to listen to what Sam has to say but there are many questions Sam wants to ask many incidents of the day he wants to share with his parents and then they know where to go and it's all done by code did you know that pop everybody knows that son did you know that manam yes dear well by the way I wonder if we could go up the F Sam's parents sometimes think he talks too much they don't realize that the son wants to practice his conversational ability on them someday when he is sure of himself outside they may have difficulty in finding out what his thoughts are on the other hand Tom who talked so much about his father's achievements seems most unappreciative of them at home and he seems to have no ambition sometimes his father wonders if he's all right mentally he is but early teens are years of uneven development there are spurts of mental energy as well as physical and at other times nothing seems to be happening in reality just as Tom's body needs rest after strenuous exercise so his mind needs time to adjust to its new learning and Bill's home life where have you been all afternoon your father wanted you to cut the grass and I had some errands I wanted you to do now get busy or he'll be annoyed so what Bill may be willing to cut the grasp sometimes when he feels like it but rules and jobs laid down too firmly by the top brass make him resentful bill is at that stage just before puberty when children seem to go into reverse psychologists call it a negative phase Bill do you mean to say you haven't finished that lawn yet I don't notice you cutting any grass no look here young man I'm not going to stand that kind of back talk you're a member of this family and you're going to act like one now you finish that lawn before supper or else too strict an attitude by parents seems only to result in more resistance bill doesn't seem to find companionship at home or enough satisfaction from hanging around with his old friends subconsciously he is looking for acceptance and help with his problems luckily he finds a friend older than himself but a real guy Bill likes to hang around the gas station helping Joe Connor who runs it Joe finds the boy a thorough worker and they have lots to talk about local gossip sports cars even the news of the day Bill feels that Joe treats him in a more grownup way than his parents he finds it easier to confide in Joe and he gets a lot off his chest as they chat sometimes young adolescents appear to enjoy utter uselessness but this Boundless Energy can be directed into useful channels Sam and Tom belong to the Boy Scouts like most teenagers they enjoy constructive activity and a planned group project it can be any community group but organization is needed to ensure that there'll be enough boys there to carry out the program successfully while they still need adult guidance during these years the quality of leadership becomes established to be aggressive and bossy is no longer enough for the leader as it was in childhood he must have skill in both physical and mental activities he's usually slightly bigger or stronger than the average and has a friendly attitude an outgoing personality the leader among adolescents is likely to remain a leader through later life as they move out of the sphere of Home influence into the community young teenagers feel the need of their own kind they begin to patronize Hangouts because girls are physically more mature than boys of the same age most of the advances in the early teen years are made by the girls their efforts are crude and childish but they're the beginnings of experiment in sex adjustment this kind of performance often shocks parents the boys really do feel Superior to those silly girls but while they pretend to scorn their attention they're secretly flattered nothing would make them admit this though subconsciously it takes the form of showing off to attract more of the girl's attention Kay and Sally didn't get far with the boys but they found a substitute identifying themselves with a glamorous movie actress who is very popular with men gives them a satisfaction they couldn't get any other way what about Joan doesn't she care for any activity or feel a need to admire and love someone she does but she has her own quiet way of working it out she likes to cook all by herself without direction from mother or the confusion of family meals tonight she's making candy it'll be a present for her music teacher whom she's adored for a long time without telling anybody so six typical young teenagers have spent a Friday afternoon and evening all of them seem to have problems that worry either them or their parents for goodness sake Sam go to bed it's late okay all of them experienced some parental friction all want independence all of them feel some stirrings of interest in sex either openly or secretly all of them are trying in their own way to adjust to a new set of circumstances and relationships Tom's parents recognize this they're willing to help in the making of these adjustments as well as showing his interest Tom's father respects him as a person did you have a good meeting tonight oh was okay but half the fellas didn't show off no maybe there was something else going on nah they had dates seems like the fellas are always going out on dates now they he doesn't pry into Tom's Affairs the way is left open for discussion he tries to be helpful contrast the attitude of Bill's Father Bill stop that racket will you in a minute in a minute nothing right now I'm trying to listen to the radio besides you're ruining the wall putting that darn thing up now stop it did you hear me by refusing to recognize his son as an individual with rights and wishes of his own Bill's father not only fails to get the cooperation he demands but actually widens the gap between himself and bill on the other hand Tom's Parents try to handle the problems of growing up in a constructive way they gradually increased his independence at the same time encouraging him to accept responsibility for what he does therefore Tom doesn't have to Rebel the stricter discipline of childhood has given place to Friendly guidance for the in between years of course having understanding parents doesn't eliminate all the problems but it goes a long way towards lessening the tensions that give to early adolescence its name the age of turmoil the [Applause]