Mr. Ears

[Music] [Music] h [Music] [Music] [Music] good evening ladies and gentlemen I'm water Brenan welcoming you to another performance of the Schlitz Playhouse of stars in the the play you're about to see I play the part of Harry Simmons called Mr ears by the irreverent children the local a small Midwestern town the time a few years [Music] [Applause] back [Music] [Music] what for you young fell oh I'm not a customer I mean I don't want to buy anything I just wanted to see you on business well well maybe I made a mistake come on now Soldier you got something to say you up and say it you ain't scared are you no I was going to ask you about a job I thought maybe you needed a boy well I don't think I could use anybody right now you know what the question is like they say a volume of business I see might I ask just why you want a job a prosperous looking young fell like you I was thinking of buying a horse a horse well I like to see that in young Club these days any particular kind of a horse oh yes his name's buddy and I can get him for $50 but my mother says I have to make the money myself you see my father yeah well Buddy's a buck skin that means he's sort of tan with black legs and the black man listen s you don't have to tell me what a bug skin looks like I used to have one myself his name was Rex where is it oh he's been in the happy hunting grounds a long time now ever since the Battle of Silver Creek battle you mean you were in the Army in the calvary it's calal son the second cavalary that was my outfit gosh that's what I've always wanted to be in the calvary he's too bad there's no Horse Soldiers no more I know that's what my dad says and he says it's to too bad he says it's because horses are gentlemen War's gotten too dirty for him what your dad think about this buck skin you want he he hasn't seen buddy he's away your buck skin Mex how big was he Buddy's 15 hands and one inch and about a half oh Rex I tell you was about that high maybe 152 say you haven't got a pinch of to back on you have you I guess I'm getting a little too previous excuse me I'm going to get something to smoke be right back gu some must run out of keac oh straightening up huh I hope you don't mind well that's all right Soldier I should have gotten that myself but ain't a spry these [Applause] days I never saw this kind before Oh interested in engines huh well you know what tribe this fell is he's a chief now mind you I don't know can you tell sure J by his W on it he's paint he's a su he's a spitting image of jono who's gono gono well I'll tell you gono was last of the big war Chiefs to quit fighting he was an Apache shirow aache we called him the mountain Fox he was that slippery did you ever cast Gano they caught Jano but my outfit never did we come close though many times time did charal Indians ride horses too oh sure take a horse away from an engine especially aache he was nothing did you have reck all the time you were fighting you B your life I did he was worth his weight and back pay that buckin wor like he could sense more about engines than General cust see Mr ears were it's all right Soldier I know all the kids call me Mr ears why wouldn't they with a pair of flappers like these what was it you started ask me were you ever wounded well I was lucky considering what happened to some of the other fellas but I did get me two or three souvenirs there's one of them right there gosh was that done with an arrow no sir that was done with a Tomy Hawk it was St by a tomahawk in a big battle at a place called Silver Creek hundreds of Indians were killed and lots of soldiers but jonal got away again that's fascinating wait a minute mother I haven't finished the spot gono then he and Mr ears and some other soldiers went after him they chased him all day Galloping like mad then they ran into another big batch of engines and had to fight them then they got chased themselves boy isn't that terrific mother darling it certainly is but couldn't you please stop talking long enough to finish your dessert come on now Soldier okay Mom you know that's funny you're always calling me Soldier and that's what Mr Simmons called me what are you going to do then work for Mr ear yes sir I am going to work for him I think just as long as you can earn enough to buy that horse mother what's the matter now I don't think Mr Sims is going to be able to pay me much well if you want to know I don't think he can pay me anything well he's awful old and I think he's awful poor he looks hungry and he really can't take care of the place because well because he isn't spry anymore well it's a sad thing darling but it happens to a lot of people but if he doesn't pay me then I won't be able to get the money to buy buddy maybe I'd better try and get another job instead what do you think I ought to do Mom I think you'll have to settle it for yourself darling it's well it's a personal problem wonder what Dad would say what do you think he'd say I have no way of knowing what your father would think why don't you go see him I don't know I don't think I will he hasn't been to see us has he John your father's busy at the newspaper he's very busy and well sometimes he gets so wrapped up he forgets about other people he doesn't mean to be inconsiderate I've got a lot of thinking to do I've got to make up my mind about this job well hi there soldier hell Mr Simmons I thought you wouldn't mind if I straightened up a little is fine you done a fine job son yes you're fine It's mighty nice here it's mighty nice oh gosh it's Saturday I don't have to go to school it looks nice and neat and tidy what happened to two cans off here where oh well I'll tell you I was pretty well tucked out last night and I didn't want to bother to go to The Butchery shop to get me a get me a steak oh by the way Mr Simmons you forgot to lock up last night I just tried the door and walked right in that's right I PL forgot oh and this was stuck in the door let me see what this is well this the advertisement for the parade we put that right here in the window parade what parade the Memorial Day Parade all the veterans organizations is behind it are you going to be in the parade you B your life I am and I'll let you in on a little secret that's what I'm going downtown right now for to make arrangements gosh I'll stay huh and look after the store door for you that's what I call a friend I'll be back soon [Music] soon [Music] what's the matter all right SOI just Diz you for a second that's all are you okay should I go get somebody oh no I'll be all right in just a couple of [Music] seconds getting old I guess trouble is I I gu just had a disappointment big [Music] disappointment I know what I'll do I'll call on Senator blle what do you think of that Soldier what do I think about what I don't know what you mean that's right how could you how than I think maybe ought to tell you about it it's always good to get your was off in the chest especially to a friend it's all on account of that dishonorable discharge I got from the Army you got a dishonorable discharge oh wait Soldier it happened to all us fell as signed up too young and and falsified about our age all right while those engines to fight and come peace time they clamp down on us what do we get Dishonored with this charge but that's not fair now wait a minute son let me finish 12 months back the government passed the law saying that if there was any of us fellas left in his mighty few that we was to get an honorable discharge anyways but if there's a law why were you disappointed today well my papers didn't come through from Washington that's what they told me down the veterans Bureau I see Senator BL I voted from him he'll fix it up he's got to fix it up I can't be in that prade unless I got an honorable discharge and I'm going to march in that parade if is the last thing I do CH someday I'll be a better on and marching a parade too I guess that'll be an awful long time oh I don't know Soldier time goes faster and faster how old might you be anyways I'm 11 nearly 11 and a half you see that four or five years will be right where I was the day I enlisted in the second back at forth Dixon you mean you were only 16 that's right want to see how I looked then here's a picture of me and Rex about a month after listed gosh that looks just like buddy yeah Rex he was one of the greatest engine fighting hes there was they tell you about the time of the moms when he he saved be troop from being Massacre no you didn't what'd he do well it was just after the Ambush at Buffalo Canyon you see and we was Plum tucked out both men and Horses of course we had our SES out but they was half dead on the feet now jono know this it's also unfair there's a law that says now he can get his honorable discharge and he doesn't get it and if he doesn't get it he can't mark March in the parade he says he's got to march in the parade if it's the last thing he does poor old man it's a shame what's he going to do he says he's going to see Senator blle he says he voted for him and he'll fix it up with Washington what do you think Mom I think we ought to do something you could ask Dad to do something he's a big shot with the Harold isn't he newspapers can fix anything can't they I'm sorry darling I I can't see your father why why why don't you just wait and see what happens how soon is Mr Simmons going to see the senator he says he's going tomorrow if he felt Brier he says if he can't see him tomorrow he's going every day is the senator home oh it's you again Mr Simmons that's right is the senator home this afternoon no no I'm afraid he isn't but when you expect him I said I was going to keep on trying and you certainly have I don't want seem unreasonable Mr Simmons but I've been telling you for a week that the senator will be glad to take up your case as soon as he's clear the present pressure of business please understand that we'll get in touch with you don't keep making these fruitless [Music] visits here's something that never disappoints anyone a tall cool glass of Schlitz hi there I'm Bob Pig your Schlitz man you know in thousands of dining rooms like this in homes everywhere people find rest for relaxation and sitting down to a refreshing glass of Schlitz before the evening meal there is no disappointment here for Schlitz is cooling delightfully refreshing from the creamy Crown all the way down no beer refreshes like Schlitz and no one has ever been able to duplicate its perfectly matchless flavor Schlitz is never harsh never bitter and there's never a trace of disappointing sweetness actually when you drink Schlitz your thirst can feel the difference and to make sure you always have enough on hand come into the kitchen for a moment and let me show you the newest way to buy it pick up a six-pack of Schlitz half qu cans it's so easy to carry with a handy handle and each half cour can gives you a third more beer than the regular can the open end makes the cans easily accessible and it also helps the beer to cool much faster in your refrigerator honestly it's so convenient there's no reason at all to ever be without shps and the wonderful refreshment it affords and remember if you like beer you love Schlitz the beer that made Milwaukee famous and now back to your Schlitz Playhouse of stars I knew that Senator wouldn't do anything ain't his fault solders moan it's a judgment give me that's what it is a judgment I don't understand what you mean Mr Simmons it's a judgment for lying to my friends like you Soldier why about what about fighting engines and chasing gerano and the Battle of Silver Creek and all that stuff you mean you weren't in the calvary at all of course I was you seen my picture didn't you joined up in 85 that time all the engines was back on the reservation judgment give me but all the rest was true was wasn't it about you saying you were older and dishonorable discharge all that you know something Mr Simmons I'm glad you didn't kill any engines I mean really kill them yeah and you know what everybody tells lies to everybody yeah even to their friends I I told you one you asked what Dad thought about Buddy and I told you dad was away well that was a lie really because well because Dad isn't just a away he's he's separated from my mother that's too bad soier fell with troubles like that well I shouldn't be bother him with mine how long since you've seen your dad oh a long time about 2 months but I'm going to see him right [Music] now what's the matter are you all right all right so just a muscle that's all just a muscle that's right make the story front right for the bulldog and then rewrite it for page three in the final come in come in and find a better cut of the woman that one makes her look like a dog catcher oh and Mike I um it's not important Mike I'll call you back later John you you get taller every day you don't see me every day I know I I don't see you very often do I but I'm Glad You Came sit down sit down okay how are things how's school how's your mother she's fine in fact it was her who told me I ought to come see you about my problem you said did you need her to tell you to see me look John I'm still your father and when you need help I'll always be here yeah we'll have a long talk about this one day John about you and me now what's your problem well it's not about me Dad it's is it about your mother is anything wrong has anything happened no Mother's all right this is about a friend of mine who Mr Morris no I'll get to the editorial in the moment yes I know it's important it'll be on time now what was it what's this about a friend of yours well his name's Mr ears he owns a grossy store down on Acorn Street you see he's a veteran but he can't prove it and he wants to ride in the Memorial Day great yeah that's a good story Peters look I'll tell you what to do check first with the state house go to the governor if you have to and don't let him off the hook John John where you going you're awful busy Dad I'm sorry I bothered you that's right Peters this is your number one assignment drop everything else and don't let him off the hook [Music] no wait stop siling what happened was Mr ears They Carried him out on a stretcher I think they had a sheet or something over his head you mean you mean he's dead Fred saw are you sure are you sure well his head was covered you know what that means try not to take it too hard son death is something that has to happen happened to everybody and he must have been very old but he wanted to be in the parade he wanted that more than anything in the world look John maybe we can make some inquiries about the honorable discharge and then make sure that he gets a military funeral with all the trimmings how about that huh but he wanted to be in the parade we'll make all the arrangements now you'll see what your old man can do once she swings into action Matthews call the city Morgan check on what's Mr name John Harry Simmons Harry Simmons yeah that's right I'll call him and give him further instructions later thanks now cheer up John Mr ears would be very happy with the honors we'll give him and I'll even run a story about him in the paper with this picture thanks Dad that will be swirl I guess I'll be getting home wait a minute there's something else how would you like that buck skin horse you've been working to buy why don't you go down to the stable tomorrow I'll call them that you're coming I'm not sure I want him anymore I don't understand something John you've wanted this horse for over a year now is that right yeah I guess so now you don't want that horse I'm not sure I feel kind of mixed up I just don't know now wait a minute you sit down yeah oh Matthews what you're kidding I've never heard of anything like that before well thanks for tracking it down John that phone call that was Matthews who just checked the morg what would you say if I told you Mr ears isn't dead not dead he isn't any dead than you are he's in the City Hospital wrapping himself around the best meal he's had in years did you ever hear a malnutrition John that was Mr ear's problem oh boy that's wonderful are you going to find out about the honorable discharge you think the world of Mr ears don't you John and you like to be around him and talk things over with him I can't explain it but when I'm with Mr ears it's well it's like being with with a father yes sir I can be an awful fool sometimes John A lot of the time I guess your mother's an expert on that subject but I always find out some way the things that are important to me come on let's go let's go where home come on let's [Music] go want to show you how do I look you look fine the only thing that's worrying me now is can I keep up with the other boys you're Calvary I'm mean Cavalry you're going to ride a horse my horse I'm lending them to you I just got them yesterday mom and dad bought them for me the man's got them waiting over at the parade grounds well now that's what I call a pal you mean the one you used to talk about all the time the one that look like Rex yeah buddy this takes me back all this see did I ever tell you about the time I saved the captain's life at Buffalo Girls here I go again I'm sorry SOI come on Mr Simmons you must have be [Music] late [Music] [Music] a rather touching story friends we hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you and here's something else is brewed for enjoyment Schlitz the beer that made Milwaukee famous one glass will convince you that Schlitz makes all the difference in the world it's a cooling refreshing difference that your thirst can actually feel as well as taste no wonder it made a city famous next week we'll have quite a different play for you our star will be Dan durier who finds himself a stranger in a small Border Town propelled into a series of dangerous and exciting Adventures until then this is Bob page for the Joseph slitz Brewing Company bidding you a very pleasant good [Music] night [Music] [Music] oh he